We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
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I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
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Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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