Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize