I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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