Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize