worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
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I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
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I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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