He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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