Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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