Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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