wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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