He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Do vagina's smell?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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