She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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