you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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