I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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