could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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