So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
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Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
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It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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