A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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