He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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