I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
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You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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