Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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