They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize