I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize