I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumble strips road head = magical
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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