i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize