I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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