Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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