so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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