Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize