I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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