so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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