Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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