well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
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Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
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WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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