he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
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Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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