Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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