i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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