I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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