We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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