i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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