By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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