Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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