Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
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about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
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I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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