someone threw a dead crab at me
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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