Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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