true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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