yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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