He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
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We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
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And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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