I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
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Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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