Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize