dude i'm inner monologue high
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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