I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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