Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He felt like a one man threesome
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She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
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Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You were trust falling into bushes
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